You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
