I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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