How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
