That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
MIDGETS
????
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
