so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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