I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
