Porn is love you can see.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize