Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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