did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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