the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
