we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
