You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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