There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
