i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
