I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
