Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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