I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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