exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
