My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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