I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
