I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need to align my fucking chakras
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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