I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize