He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
