i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
