K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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