Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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