The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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