I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize