She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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