is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it's great music for shaving your balls
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
