A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
