Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
