nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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