Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
