You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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