So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
