they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
