guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
