my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize