And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
