gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
