you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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