Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize