Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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