I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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