5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
