Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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