when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
