Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
