why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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