I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
