if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you would pick up someone in the library
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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