sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
