I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
