I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
