i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
