Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
