They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
nutella sex= disaster
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
