before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
