Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
