There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
