so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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