Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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