I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
